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Islamic scholars say a husband must exercise intercourse within the Qur’anic paradigm of love and mercy. This is supported in this verse from the holy quran, that says: He created for you spouses from yourselves that ye might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo! herein indeed are portents for folk who reflect. (Quran 30:21)
The Prophet (SAW) instructs husbands to first of all, make their wives comfortable in bed with him. The husband should sexually arouse his wife before having sex. It is indeed selfish on the husband’s part that he fulfils his sexual needs and desires, whilst his wife remains unsatisfied and discontented.
Even the Prophet (SAW) frowned at it. He forbade sexual intercouse without foreplay, to guarantee and to protect the sexual pleasures and rights of the wife in bed.
Summary: It is lawful for you to go in unto your wives during the night preceding the (day’s) fast: they are as a garment for you, and you are as a garment for them. God is aware that you would have deprived yourselves of this right, and so He has turned unto you in His mercy and removed this hardship from you. Now, then, you may lie with them skin to skin, and avail yourselves to that which God has ordained for you.(Qur’an 2:187)
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